There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
