took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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