I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize