Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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