I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
