and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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