what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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