is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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