i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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