Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
