That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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