would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
