is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
being pregnant is like rehab
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
