Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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