No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
ttyl tear gas
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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