Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
