Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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