"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
