the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
