My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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