Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
