It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
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Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
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I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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