In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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