Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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