Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
