I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
