You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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