just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
