you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
