Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
