I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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