Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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