i think my tv is drunk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
