he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
