Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
