New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize