Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
