ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
