we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
