Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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