I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
