You just made me feel so damn special
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
