she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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