One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
try to milk me bitch
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