enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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