saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
