dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
