Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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