Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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