so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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