I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
