Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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