Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
