If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.