do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
i love accidental penises.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?