so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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