I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
