i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
