and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize