i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
