just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
