Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
