just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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