I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
my liver is dry heaving
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
